When the Introverts loves the Extrovert

My fiancé and I met on a Monday. We got to know each other on the Tuesday. We kissed on the Thursday. He made me laugh and I fancied the pants off him.

When he asked me to meet on Friday, I said no. I just couldn’t do it for another night.

As the months went on, he grew frustrated when I said I didn’t want to see him some nights. He asked what I was doing instead and I was always said: nothing. I was staying in by myself.

Hello. I’m Jennifer and I’m an introvert

Original Image from Google Images

An introvert? On the internet? Hard to believe, I know.

I’m really fascinated by the concept of Extroversion and Introversion, probably because I can align myself so closely with the idea of an Introvert recharging their energy by being on their own. I need that. I also need time to process change, events or discussions (especially arguments). Before I always thought it was a strange idiosyncrasy or “just me”. Now I know there’s more of us!

Hello fellow Introverts!

My fiancé is an extrovert. He’s not what you would call a typical extrovert. He isn’t the loudest person at a party. He hates dancing and would never make a scene or try to draw attention to himself. But he definitely draws his energy from being around people. He gets lost in conversation. He doesn’t like to be alone, preferring the company of others. Those nights when I needed to be by myself, he would go to a friend’s house and spend some time with family. And he has a lot of friends. When he has been alone, you can tell it’s been draining for him.

Original Image from Google Images

What does this mean for our relationship? We compromise and we learn. A quick google search on whether introverts and extroverts can get along suggests that they can with some helpful tips. Some of these we’ve done naturally:

Don’t take it personally. Over the years and various explanations, he gets that I need my alone time. I think I probably need it less now but that need is still there. He’s learned that the fact I want to be alone is no reflection on him. It’s something I need for me. He sees it as making me happy and letting me relax. Being around anyone, even him, can be draining.

Compromise. I probably get less alone time than I would like. It’s not that I want any less time with my fiancé. I want more hours in the day. Likewise, I’m sure he would like more together time with me. We work around each other.

These come naturally, as with getting to know each other and work to make each other happy does. His extrovert side has influenced me, just like my introvert side has done to him.

I love my extrovert. But, as with many things, I’ll never understand how he doesn’t get exhausted from talking to SO MANY PEOPLE.

Original Image from Google Images
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6 comments

  1. Great article! Sometimes it’s so hard getting my loved ones to understand that I’m not angry at them, I’m not tired of them, I’m just worn out and need some time to recharge.

    • Thanks! I’m lucky that my family just accepted that being the introvert is just how I am (though they may not name it as an introvert).

      It was always nice to reassure myself that its not only me 🙂

  2. I’m an extrovert and my husband is an introvert. Doesn’t sound like it would make much of a difference, but understanding each other and finding compromise can be so hard! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, totally resonated with it.

  3. I like to think of myself as an introverted extrovert where I recharge from being with other people AND also occasionally on my own. Sometimes I need a night in alone, reading and drinking a glass of wine or perhaps going to the movies by myself. But I also need to be around other people, because too much alone time can also be draining for me. I have a lot of introverted friends who need time alone to recharge, and I never take it personally, because I know it’s necessary for their sanity. haha. I’m sure it’s a little different dealing with the issue in a relationship, but I think you two definitely seem to be sensitive to one another’s needs even if you don’t fully understand them! 🙂

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