21st Century Moaning: “I’m gonna write them a tweet!”

Life’s busy nowadays. If something pisses me off, I don’t have time to write a letter of complaint as is the traditional British method of complaining. Plus, stamps are expensive.

But I do have time for 8 tweets of complaint.

Enjoy and add your own in the comments!


Dear Satnav. I can’t make a U-turn. I’m on a roundabout. You’re supposed to be helping me. Why you make me cry?


Dear Instagram users. Why would I want to see a picture of your meal? You haven’t invented smellovision and can’t send me your meal. However, if you have, I love you.

Dear every second car on the road. USE YOUR INDICATORS.

Dear Bullshitter. No one believes you. We never will. Kindly fuck off now and talk to the wall.

Dear Spoon Thief. I will look for you, I will find you… and I will kill you. Because with spoons, I can’t make a cup of tea.

Dear Edinburgh Zoo. I don’t like pandas. No one likes pandas that much. You know what I do like? Sea lions. Oh wait. You got rid of them to pay for the pandas. Swell.

Dear slow walkers. Walk with urgency or you will be kicked. You have been warned.

Dear people of Greggs. The sign says queue on both sides. Don’t be hatin’ because you didn’t follow the rules. Sometimes, rules are good. Sincerely, girl who bought all the sausage rolls.

I know the last one is longer but I couldn’t help myself.

Let me hear your tweets of complaint!



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